A marriage is a divinely ordained opportunity for two people to come together and maximise their strengths while minimising their weaknesses for their better good.
Choosing a marriage partner is clearly one of the most serious decisions you will ever make since your choice will influence your success in virtually all other aspects of your life. This decision needs to be made with utmost care and caution, repeatedly seeking guidance from the Lord.
When people marry for the wrong motives they are not able to fulfil their roles in marriage, as they have a self-centred, receiving focus, rather than the other-centred, giving focus prescribed by God. Knowing that God’s direction is critical if we want to make the right choice, let’s look very briefly at a few reasons not to get married.
Escape from home or other unpleasant situations.
Whilst we may experience challenging situations at home or sometimes feel lonely being single, getting into marriage as a means of escape will not provide a solution to the challenges. The choice to get married is far too important to be left to chance so don’t let other circumstances or unpleasant situations determine how you make this crucial decision.
Looking for self-worth or a sense of achievement.
There is a God-sized hole on the inside of us all that only God can heal or fill. Our identity is only in God and looking for a marriage to give self-worth will ultimately result in disappointment as our partner is not designed by God to meet all our needs, God is the only one that can fill these holes and meet these needs.
An unplanned pregnancy
Rushing into marriage because of unplanned pregnancy may result in more heartache. Having made a mistake, it is good to remember that God is still with us, whilst an unplanned pregnancy can bring about a lot of pressure, it is important that we seek God first for forgiveness and ask for His help and direction.
On the rebound after a broken relationship.
Having unresolved issues from a previous relationship and then heading straight into another one is never a good idea. Every relationship that is broken requires healing from God and restoration for both parties or we make it difficult for ourselves to develop healthy future relationships.
Sympathy for the other person.
God has a plan for every life and getting into marriage because we think the other person will be devastated if we break up with them is not His plan. A broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage with far more distressing effects on all parties concerned.
Response to peer pressure.
Thinking ‘everyone is getting married so I need to get married’ is not a good idea. God has a partner for you and waiting on God for His perfect will sometimes mean it may take longer than you think but God makes all things beautiful in its time.
The need to depend on someone financially or emotionally.
Getting married to find someone else to depend on to meet our financial or emotional needs is not God’s plan for us. Although a major benefit of a healthy marriage is the financial and emotional support that spouses can be to each other. However, God alone is our ultimate provider and our source. Our partners cannot meet all our needs so if we look at them, we are bound to be disappointed.