I believe that if we have the right perspective and attitude to our differences as husband and wife we would have a fulfilling Marriage and make a formidable team. The fact that we have different background, upbringing, gender, personality etc as husband and wife means that we would not always see things from the same perspective. This is not a bad thing in itself, what causes the problem is when we have the wrong perspective towards our differences.
I have always been intrigued by the fact that when couples are dating, prior to getting married, they are so excited and focused on their similarities, however as soon as they get married they focus on their differences! It is important to know that being different as husband and wife is a good thing, as it gives us an opportunity if we are willing to learn and grow.
It is very important that we do not take it for granted that we know each other in our Marriage. We are on a journey and sometimes a spouse may be discovering things about themselves that they were not aware of, this in turn may mean that their needs are changing. I have changed over the years, which means that some of my needs from my husband have changed as well. God is a God of change and it is not fair to expect that because I was a certain way when I got married I must remain that way throughout my Marriage.
As husband and wife we need to observe our differences. Wisdom is the correct application of the knowledge that we have, however, often times we are aware of our differences but we fail to transfer that into information that will benefit our Marriage.
We need to identify the differences between us as husband and wife and discuss it. An effective team works out what each person has and then thinks of how to use it for the benefit of the team.
We need to accept our differences, this means that we do not try to change our spouses to be like us rather we celebrate and highlight these differences.
A good marriage is not built by focusing on your spouse’s weaknesses but by celebrating your spouse’s strengths. Remember God’s love for us his unconditional and non-judgemental, he wants us to show the same love to our spouses.