Whether our sexuality has brought us deep fulfilment or led us into pain, despair, frustration or even boredom, we are created as sexual people in God’s image – male and female. 

In Genesis 2:24-25, we see that God’s design for a man and woman is to be united as one flesh. God usually signifies a covenant through the shedding of blood, and the very first act of sex between a ‘virgin’ man and wife resulted in the shedding of blood as a sign of the marriage covenant. 

Sex, therefore, is a reaffirmation of covenant, communion and commitment within the boundaries of marriage, and must be celebrated regularly. We were created to be free to share our bodies openly with our spouses in marriage, delight in each other sexually, and honor God with our pleasure.

Sexual Is Designed For Your Pleasure

Sex in marriage is intended not only for procreation but also for UNITY and PLEASURE. Husbands and wives are to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 9.7), to become one, and to be free and unashamed (Genesis 2.25).

Sexual pleasure is endorsed throughout the Old Testament; Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife/husband of your youth… let her breasts satisfy you at all times, and always be enraptured by her love (Proverbs 5:18-19). 

Sexual passion as an expectation for marriage is also evidenced by the fact that the marriage bed is undefiled (Heb 13:4). Sexual passion is not only demonstrated by the lovers of Songs of Solomon but it is also implied by scripture guidelines for handling our sexual passion. If God had not designed us for the passion he would not have taught us to manage our passion.

The bible instructs both the husband and wife to delight in giving themselves to each other. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 teaches couples to enjoy sex together, regularly and enjoy each other for pleasure. In Ephesians 5:21-33, Paul instructs husbands and wife’s to be mutually submissive. Through Christ, we have the potential to re-establish the original design of creation – to be completely open and free sexually in marriage.

Mutual Fulfillment

Husbands and wives need to give regard to and consistently practice the concept of mutuality – mutual respect and responsibility in their sexual relationships. This will ensure that Intimacy is built, sexual freedom discovered, and true oneness fulfilled. 

There are differences between men and women when it comes to their responses to sex, generally, women respond to sex emotionally initially and physically, whilst men generally respond to sex physically initially and then emotionally. It is important to seek to understand your spouse and their responses rather than a stereotype.

Women generally desire sex and open up, when they feel loved by and connected to their husbands whereas men generally feel loved and connected through sex. When a husband lovingly connects with his wife and the wife embraces her sexuality, mutual fulfilment and intimacy are experienced.

So now what do we do?

Advice abounds on how to improve your lovemaking techniques in marriage. But you could know all the techniques there are to know and still not have a fulfilling sex life with your spouse. That is because true satisfaction comes only when we have a good understanding of God’s design and purpose for sex.