During a conversation with a group of friends the other day, we got on to the topics we discuss in our premarital classes.

‘The sex class, how do you do that?’ My friend asked

‘Is this directed at them when they are married couples?  Cos you know married couples don’t have sex don’t you?!!’  He said matter-of-factly and went on to something else.

I wanted to say ‘speak for yourself mate!’ but I resisted and just let it go.

God created marriage, we know that, and He created sex as a gift to married couples…we know that too, so why on earth aren’t we enjoying this gift in the way it was intended?  Maybe that is too sweeping a statement; I know lots of married couples thoroughly enjoy sex with each other, so I apologise but I am sure you get my point.

Sex as a Beauty of Marriage

I believe sex was made for the beauty of marriage; it is supposed to enhance our marriage relationship and yes, we are supposed to enjoy it! There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  I realise that for a lot of women their first sexual experience is not always enjoyable but the act of sex is created for our pleasure and that means we do have the ability to enjoy it and what’s more we should enjoy it.  Marriage is all about two people becoming one and sex has a huge role to play in this; every time we have sex, we fuse ourselves closer together.

Funnily enough, earlier in this riveting conversation, another gentleman had spoken about how we tend to have issues with piety and we assume that by doing certain things we are being ‘good Christians’ when in actual fact it’s not about what we are seen to be doing but what we are actually doing.  How does this relate?  Well, I’m not entirely sure, but I suspect there are some married couples out there who are not fully enjoying the gift of sex in their marriage because they feel perhaps it would be wrong for them to do so.  Okay, so can I put it on the record now that it is okay to enjoy sex with your spouse…. yes!  I said it. Sex should not be a chore, a means to an end or a box to tick, it should be a fun, exciting time of bonding and pleasure.

Don’t be afraid to go there…that is one of God’s gifts to your marriage.