As a single mother at the time, I knew I had to pray; I would have been foolish not to. I had a lot of ‘demons to fight’, things to get rid of, and things to decree and declare. So, my preparation was key! I needed God to help me, I needed Him to reveal certain things to me; if not, my marriage wouldn’t even get off the ground, let alone be anything to write home about. I needed God to show me how, where, when, and why.
There were lots of prayers! Prayers about and for my husband-to-be, prayers for me, prayers about the end of one season and the beginning of another, prayers about negative spiritual attachments, prayers about the family I was moving into, prayers about our children, prayers about decisions we would have to make as a family, and so many other prayers! You can never pray too much about the marriage you are about to go into, an area of life you cannot be certain about what will happen after you say, “I do”.
I gather many have said “I do” on their special day when what they really meant was, “I will try.” Unfortunately, “I will try” just doesn’t cut it in marriage, at least for those that want to have an enjoyable, long-lasting and purpose-driven marriage. We must do more than try; we must commit, we must review, we must act, we must compromise, we must be fair, we must cherish, and we must pray.
Only ‘trying’ in marriage, and not doing the needful, will not work when issues arise (and they always will) because we haven’t built the skills of praying. We run on emotion and run to people, rather than running to our knees and running to God. The result is hasty decisions based on feelings and circumstantial evidence, rather than on what God told us to do.
So my advice, after a million mountains in my relationships, a daughter born out of wedlock, five years as a single mother, and now three years in marriage is “PRAY, PRAY, PRAY AND PRAY!” Let God take His time with you and your future spouse. Let Him work on you both, to understand the importance of prayer. God never rushes things. Let Him mold you into the person you need to be for the sake of your future self, for your future spouse, and for your unborn children.
There are characteristics and skills you must embody and learn quickly before that guy or girl approaches, so learn what you need to learn quickly. And pray.